A Lockdown Birthday
This is 22! I LOVE IT!
Two nights ago, just before I was turning 22, I decided to go sleep before the clock struck 12. I wasn’t feeling great about yet another birthday. I used to hate birthdays. I honestly can’t remember when this ‘bleh-ness’ regarding birthdays started but I wasn’t the happiest birthday girl there was.
Part of it I owe to the fact that I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO BEHAVE when being sung to or wished. I used to dread it. Part of it I owe to the fact that I’m growing older and somehow always have no idea what I’m doing.
Each birthday is a reminder and it gets extremely overwhelming knowing yet another year has passed and I still have a lot of I don’t knows. But that was all until I turned 22. (I have a lot more I don’t knows but I’m letting it take course in it’s time.)
Today’s post hits a lot of little things. I’m not even going to try and put it into one category so let’s go.
Are we really going to do a ‘lessons I’ve learnt’ post? Hell yes! But, I’ll save you the 22 lessons and keep it short because you and I both know that I’m most likely going to start bull-shitting after Lesson Number 8.
1) Learn to not care about the hate. One of my friends whose piece you’ve read in ‘An Encomium To Art‘, Insha Rehman, told me about a saying in her religion -‘Blessed are those among the oppressed, not the oppressors.’ I’ll just let this one speak.
2) Don’t undermine yourself. You honestly are one of a kind. You can be doing the same thing as a million others but you still add your element to it.
3) You’re far more blessed than you realise. FAR FAR FAAAAAAAAR MORE BLESSED.
4) The world isn’t bad. Never generalise. I’m blown over by how wrong I’ve been proven about thinking everyone has a little bad in them.
5) People’s lives doesn’t revolve around your downfalls. Actually, people’s lives don’t revolve around you at all. Period. End. That’s all. Do you.
6) Go after something thinking you would never fail. You won’t fail if you find everything right to do when you don’t see limitations.
7) Own your damn life. Don’t be a push over. You can be kind and say no. You can kindly say no.
8) Give! A lot of it. If it’s patience, smile, respect, kindness, love…. scoop a lot of it from your reserves and give it. If it’s hard to give as yet, think of it like ‘the more you give, the more you get back.’ Think this one through. I need a bigger lesson on this.
I feel absolutely great! It’s been a hot minute since it’s happened but I’m pumped for the year to come and the years to come. It’s a state of mind. I’ll tell you how and why further.
I went to bed two nights ago thinking, wow! Another stupid day. Just before I slipped into sleep, anxious in the stomach about how today was ‘special’ and it was also not, I did a tiny thing.
I prayed for this to be the best birthday I’ve ever had. I’ve never prayed for that in my entire life (Oh, how she lies.) I thought it was the stupidest thing to ask for considering I’m not 8 anymore. But I did, because what am I going to lose? It started off great, had a little bump that only brought in more good and it just kept escalating up from there. I’m not saying I’ve had terrible birthdays so far, don’t get me wrong. But…..
I honestly can’t remember a better birthday. Not because I have bad memory but because 22 crushed every other birthday HANDS DOWN! I’m signing off with the hugest smile on my face! Thank you to everyone that contributed to how fabulous I feel right now. You didn’t have to add in a little of your shine to my day, but you did. And I cannot be more grateful. Thank you!
I apologize for this post being all over the place. You can’t expect me to contain my thoughts on my birthday! I was never the ‘IT’S MY BIRTHDAY’ kind of a girl but here I am, realizing I actually am that girl. I think a birthday in lockdown did more good to my soul that any other birthday, out and about the city. Oh well, we see how 23 shapes up.
And as always, thanks for reading 🙂
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